WELL, IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR again. The time when the engineer and I pack our bags and get out of town, head some place else besides our own backyard. Without kids. Why do we make the effort (and, truly sometimes it is a big effort given our schedules) to get away together like that?
Because it’s crucial to the sustenance of our marriage. Because it’s critical to going beyond having just a good marriage to enjoying a great one.
And why do we do it this time of year? Because it’s our anniversary time (yesterday was the big 34) and it’s important for us to re-affirm our commitment to one another. Before starting this yearly ritual, our married life was more difficult, more frustrating and exhausting.
So, once again, I have marriage on my mind. We’ve already been gone more than a week, and we’ve spent some time with our older son and daughter-in-law in the city they’re now calling home, before vacating to another location to enjoy one another. And to take a serious look at how successful we were at this marriage thing in the last year, look forward to the next one, (we’ve learned the hard way that assuming that our goal is automatically going to be our spouse’s goal is a recipe for disaster), and discuss how we can do even better at loving and respecting one another. We know we need time away, in a location conducive to really hearing one another’s heart.
UNHURRIED, HONEST, AND DEEP TIME TOGETHER
We want and crave unhurried, deep conversations. Honest ones. And this first article I’ve linked for you will discuss one of the most critical marriage activities that so often gets forgotten or ignored. In Rob Flood’s post you’ll:
1. Learn why married couples NEED to get away together. (Or is busyness ruling and dictating your married and individual lives?)
2. Lean how you can be encouraged to get away and how you can encourage your spouse in this endeavor.
3. Get great ideas for what you can talk about and what you should discuss during your getaway.
Spend some time being introspective and then make sure you have some fun! Go sightseeing. Simply enjoy one another’s company. Sleep in and—yes—take advantage of uninterrupted intimacy time. Honestly, sometimes intimacy is the only thing on our agenda when we get away. If we can, we do tuck in other activities around it. But we usually forgo schedules that demand being some place at a particular time and rushing around to get there. Why would we want to do that on our getaway when that’s what dictates our life at home? We’re away to recharge and refresh and revel in one another and what God has done in our marriage all of these years, particularly the last one. It’s what has gotten us successfully to year number 34!!
JUST GETTING STARTED?
And if you’re just at the beginning of your marriage, or, better yet, considering marriage, you’ll want to check out this next post: “8 Decisions That Will Define Your Marriage” by Mary May Larmoyeux. They are critical questions to ask and flesh out before the “I do’s” are uttered, or you may find your marriage on the rocks and both of you in marriage counseling in short order.
They can set the foundation and direction for your married life and help avoid some of the problem points that can arise in any marriage. Don’t go down the aisle with stars in your eyes. Go down the aisle wisely prepared, and like-minded.
PASSING IT ON
When I told my older son where we were going to celebrate our anniversary after spending time with him and our daughter-in-law, and that we wouldn’t be inviting them to join us, he laughed and said, “You wouldn’t want us there anyway!” Then it was my turn to laugh and say, “You’re right about that.”
I was so happy because I knew my 27-year-old got it.
And I think he got it from watching his mom and dad nurture their marriage and one another all of these years. At least I think he got it from us, because one year he even gave us an anniversary card saying all he learned about love he learned from watching us love. And he appreciated it.
And that was the best anniversary present a husband and wife could ever receive from their child.
What are you teaching your kids about marriage that they’ll put to good use in theirs?
Until next week.
May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).