…always
pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. Rejoice always, pray
without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in
Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:14-18
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So how, exactly, do
these verses—and this advice—help you if you’re suffering from depression,
especially grief-driven depression?
At first
glance, you may react immediately by saying, “I can’t do those. Rejoice? Give thanks in everything? And then you’ll probably
add, “And how can this be God’s will, to rejoice in this pain, to give thanks
in my loss? It’s impossible, and I don’t even think it’s right.”
I can
understand those feelings, and I’ll admit it’s difficult for me to respond in the
manner laid out in these verses. I’ve found that it takes perseverance,
discipline and a complete change of heart and mind to put these into practice.
But I’ve
also found that when I do respond this way—and sometimes it takes a monumental
effort on my part to do so, to war with my flesh and mind and wrestle them into
submission over this—it provides me with healing and peace I can’t begin to
describe. Healing and peace that burrows deep into my soul and heart, that
causes an immediate change of attitude and outlook on my circumstances and on
my life.
Paul knew
what he was doing when he instructed everyone to practice these behaviors
because he knew it’s good for you to do it. It’s good for your mind! And what’s good for your mind is usually good for your
body, soul and overall health.
So let’s go
through each of them. They’re pretty basic and won’t take much time to cover.
Rejoice always!
Hmmm. Really!? You can’t be serious! Oh, I can
assure you he is. Rejoice. Always.
Even when you don’t feel like
rejoicing. Like love, rejoicing is an action, and often, when you start acting
in a loving way, your mind and body follow along for the ride. And so it is
with rejoicing. When you raise your hands in praise and happiness and change
your speech to positive words, and force yourself to think good, rejoicing
thoughts, your mind responds. (Remember the cognitive-behavioral therapy I
referred to several posts ago?)
Your mind
will trigger a release of endorphins and feel-good hormones to bring your
thoughts, mind and body into line with your actions. But you must let it all
go; no holding back on this one. If any stray negative thought enters in, and
you indulge it and start mulling it over and open the door to it, your
rejoicing will evaporate like a dove under the flick of a magician’s wand.
When I
think of Victoria now, and find myself sliding down into that black hole of
melancholy and self-pity, I turn my focus instead to the wonderful memories of
her and that pregnancy, and think ahead to the future, of being reunited with
her for eternity. And in that thought alone I can rejoice mightily! I
unconsciously smile, an automatic reaction to the happiness that creeps across
my heart. My entire body bursts with joy over those thoughts. There is nothing
sad about them.
I’ll tell
you a story that gives you an idea of the sense of humor God has.
About ten
years ago, Chris and I were struggling with work stress and life stress, both
of which strained our marriage. Chris was having a particularly difficult time
and ended up having to take doctor-ordered disability leave. Once again, I
found myself at my rope’s end, not knowing where to turn, how to turn or when
to turn. So one night I grabbed my Bible and retreated to our front porch
rocking chair to cry out to God, to wallow in my agony.
“Okay,
God,” I sniveled, “I want to find a perfect psalm. One of those real heartrending
ones David penned when he was at his wit’s end and felt abandoned and finished.
Find me a real good one!” I flipped open my Bible to the Book of Psalms and
stared at the words through blurry eyes. Tears dripped onto the page as I
peered and squinted at the Psalm lying open before me.
“What?” I whispered, mildly irked at the
verses that leapt off the page at me. “No,
God. That’s not what I was looking
for! This is a praise and worship psalm,
not one I can really sink my aching teeth into. What do you mean by leading me
to this one?” After several seconds
of pouting and internal argument, I murmured an “Okay, I’ll-read –it-but-I’m-not-going-to-like-it”
response and dove in.
As I read
aloud the psalm of rejoicing and praise to God, my heart filled with love, understanding,
forgiveness and peace. The words eradicated every ounce of sadness from my
cells and caused my heart to pound with joy. Within seconds, my attention had
flipped from focusing on all of my hurts, to how great and capable my God is. I
actually felt a bit embarrassed and silly about my wallowing. For the next
half-an-hour, I hugged my Bible close and thanked God for His wisdom and
guidance, His loving, tender touch and redirection of my focus—from me and my
doubts and human limitations, to His omniscient power to change my
circumstances or guide me through them. Tears poured harder at the realization
of His guiding hand. And then I laughed outright at the irony.
He had
taken me where I didn’t want to go, knowing that I needed to go there.
If you’ve
never tried it, I encourage you to do so. Rejoice, even in the most difficult
of circumstances. You’re not rejoicing about them, but you’re rejoicing through them. It will change your
perspective.
Pray
without ceasing.
This is
pretty straightforward: Always be in an attitude of prayer, thoughtfulness,
mindfulness (remember that post?), ready to hear God’s voice and leading. It
makes you more sensitive to the Spirit and to His guiding hand.
In
everything, give thanks.
I know. How
does someone possibly do that given the agonizing pain and grief they’re mired
in? The answer? You can’t. Not in your human flesh anyway. This is something
where you need to surrender everything to God, and let Him do the thanking for
you.
In order to
accomplish this, I usually say something along these lines, “Okay, Lord.
Everything You do and allow to happen, You do for a purpose. So, please, let me
learn what it is You have to teach me right here, right now. Don’t let me rebel against it; let me sink myself into
it so I can learn all You have for me to understand.
I remind
myself (or try to) of the old Scottish adage that says, “The vine is never so
close to the vinedresser as when it’s being pruned by Him.” The pruning hurts,
but it’s oh, so necessary for the most prolific growth to occur. (More on this
in a much later post.)
And then
there is the thanks I can give—and which renews my hope—at the reminder that
God is still on the throne, He’s still in control, and prayer changes things.
Sometimes what prayer changes is not the
situation, but me, my attitude, my outlook. My heart.
So the main
takeaway point is that there is always something for which I can give thanks.
And giving thanks does wonders for my mind, body and soul!
Pray
the Scripture.
This one
isn’t in the list, but I have found it to be one of the most singly powerful
ways to pray. Use Scripture to pray for yourself, your spouse, your children,
your family and friends. God promises that His word will not return void unto
him, so you can be assured that you are praying powerfully, in words that will
be pleasing to God. Words that you can wrap around your heart and soul and soak
yourself in. Words that will change you, inside and out.
The bottom
line is: Do NOT let anything or anyone steal your joy! Not even you! So
often we give our joy away, or steal it from ourselves because we are so
self-focused. That alone can keep us in bondage to depression and pain and rob
us of the sound mind God wants us to enjoy.
Good luck
on practicing these principles. Please let me know how it goes!
I’ll be
praying for all of you!
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NEXT
WEEK: Relieving depression with manual therapy. The following
week we’ll finish this series on beating depression with cognitive-behavioral
therapy, and the first week in February, I’ll return to my story. You’ll want
to join me for that, to read about the miracles, the internal struggles, the
extreme battles with evil and spiritual darkness, the high-risk pregnancy, the
joys, the losses, the angelic visit. All
of it. It’ll be a story of redemption and joy you won’t want to miss.
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Until next week,
Thanks for joining me!
Blessings,
Andrea
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