IN
OUR EFFORT TO PUT OUR LIVES IN PERSPECTIVE, we need to take a step that can
sometimes be uncomfortable or painful, and which is always eye opening.
How do others perceive you?
After you’ve answered all of your
introspective questions, you need to take a brave step. And that step includes
asking your loved ones and friends to give their assessment of “you.” You need to
ask them—and LISTEN WITHOUT TALKING—to their response.
Some of the questions you could ask
are:
1. What do you
think my strengths are?
2. What are my
weaknesses?
3. Where have I
fallen short in our relationship?
4. In what areas
could I do better?
5. Am I a good listener?
6. What do you
see as my gifts?
7. What bad
habits do I have that bother you?
8. What are my
positive traits?
9. What are my
negative traits?
10. When you
think of me, what words and behaviors come to mind?
Their viewpoint might not be spot on
all of the time, but you need this type of assessment in order to see yourself
fully and clearly, from all angles. Listen to them. Ask them to clarify if
necessary, but DO NOT try to defend yourself or your actions. That will only
shut them down, and they won’t share. And you need them to share and feel safe
doing it. So stuff any combative, contrary thoughts. Take notes. Use a
recorder. And then thank them for their honesty.
How do you perceive yourself?
Quite often we’re easier on
ourselves than we should be, and just as often we’re harder on ourselves. And that last truth can impact every aspect of our lives—positively or negatively.
Back in 2013, the famous soap
company Dove released a series of short films featuring women who were the
subjects of FBI-trained forensic artist Gil Zamora. Zamora. He did not see the woman but would ask her to describe herself and then draw a picture of her based on what she told
the him she looked like, how she described herself. Then he drew a
picture of the woman based entirely on how a stranger described her. In every
case the stranger’s perception of the woman always produced a more beautiful
drawing than the one produced on the description she provided of herself.
The moral of that story? Our lack of
contentment and feelings of inadequacy often come from within rather than from reality; and we usually
pay too much attention to what advertisers and marketers tell us we should look
like and their implications of where we’re falling short! (To see the YouTube video on the artist drawing and the women's responses, I have provided a link to one of the videos. You'll find it at the end of this post.)
So ask someone else how they see
you. It's scary, but you might be pleasantly surprised. And it might completely change what goals you're going to set for yourself next week!
___________________________________
That’s a tough assignment for you, so we’ll stop there.
Next week we’ll move into goal
setting and how to form your goals and write them in such a way as to increase
your chance of success at achieving them!
Here's the link!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE
Make it a great
week!
Blessings,
Andrea
May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul
prospers (3 John 2).
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