Does God Want Us to Be Happy?

           There seems to be a perennial debate in Christian circles that revolves around this question: Does God want us to be happy?

           

            In the “Name It and Claim It” (otherwise known as the Prosperity Gospel) corner, you hear the resounding answer “Yes! And not only does God want you to be happy, but He also wants you to be wealthy, comfortable and successful, and generally have life altogether.

           

            In the other corner, you have the more morose group that says, “No, God doesn’t want you to be happy; He wants you to be content.” Which implies, of course, that mature Christians have moved passed that pipe dream of feeling as though they need to walk around with grins plastered on their faces and take a holier, pious outlook on life. To them, happiness seems to be an evasive allusion, an emotion not worth the paper it’s written on and immensely overrated.

           

            Finally, you have the people in the middle who are sometimes happy and sometimes not, and waffle back and forth between the two corners. They’re not sure if God wants you to be happy or not, and they don’t worry about it too much. They just live life day-to-day, making pragmatic decisions.

           

            I apologize if I sound cynical, but the subject has been nagging my conscious a lot lately. (Maybe because I seem to have been having so many days tinged with feelings of unhappiness.) Are we supposed to be happy, or are we not supposed to pursue that goal or live in expectation of it? Why are some Christians just oozing happiness and joy while others seem to mope through life? Are they really that happy or just faking it for the rest of us?

           

            I hear people say you can lose your joy and happiness, but I’m not convinced that’s correct, either. Certainly you can feel pain and grief at the loss of a loved one, a job, a wandering prodigal son or daughter, or a friend’s rejection. But do you have to lose your joy or happiness in the process?

           

            Saying you “lost” something implies that you misplaced it. According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, it encompasses some of the following:

1. unable to be found;

2. not knowing where you are or how to get to where you want to go: unable to find your way;

3. no longer held, owned, or possessed; and even

4. hopelessly unattainable.

           

            Let me back up and refresh your memory with the definitions of joy and happiness I gave you last week, per Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Joy is the: “feeling of great happiness.” And happiness is the: feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc.; or showing or causing feelings of pleasure and enjoyment.”

        

         Given those definitions, my belief is that if you are a Christian, it is impossible to “lose” joy. And if you can’t lose your joy, then I think it’s hard to lose your happiness. I mean true happiness. Not the fly-by-night kind of happiness.

           

            Why do I say that? Because if you are a Christian, you know the Lord, He has taken up residence in your heart, and, because of these truths: You know the source of the joy and you know where to find the joy and happiness. While you might not know the way to go, He does, and you can trust that He will lead you there. As for the third definition, I’m not in the camp that believes you can lose it, because He promises never to leave us or forsake use. So, if He’s with us always, we always have joy.

           

            So if we’re not feeling so joyful or happy right now, and we aren’t in the middle of profound grief, then I think we can identify some reasons why we find ourselves without joy or happiness in our lives:

1. We spend too much time listening to advertisers tell us what we need, and, worse yet, what we deserve.

2. We’re easily bored, and, as a result, we’re dissatisfied with our lives.

3. We make too many not well-thought-out and knee-jerk decisions based on what someone else says we should do with our lives; or decisions based on our fragile, unreliable emotions. The end result is often not doing what God designed and gave us the talent to do. We’re “kicking against the goad,’ as Jesus put it. And He says that’s hard to do.

4. We spend too much time comparing ourselves to others, especially the more successful.

5. We’re just plain weak and double-minded and let our fleshly desires (and, often, our misguided hearts) drive us to make poor choices. And those poor choices can lead to disastrous results.

6. We arrogantly reject sound advice and then suffer.

7. We spend a lot of time complaining and pointing fingers of blame at others. (It’s tough to be happy with that kind of attitude. And as the old adage goes, When you’re pointing your finger, take a look at how many fingers are actually pointed back toward you.)

8. We focus on our human limitations rather than on His power and love.

           

            The more I ask myself why I’m unhappy, or feel just blah and flat, the more often I come to the conclusion that it’s because I’m letting my ego and human flesh take control and allowing someone—or something—to rob me of my happiness. No. Let me change that. To be honest, I’m probably pointing fingers and giving too much credit to someone else; or spending too much time thinking about how someone else has robbed me of my joy.

           

            In reality, I’m actually giving my joy and happiness away, or deliberately laying them down and setting them aside. That’s what you do when you lose something. You lay it down and forget where you put it. And then I end up reveling in a one-woman pity party. (Let me clarify that I’m not talking about losing a loved one to death. In that sense, perhaps we don’t use the term lose properly.)

           

           

            So, after thinking these deep thoughts, asking questions, and, yes, hunting through God’s word on the matter, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that the Christian teachers who tell us that God doesn’t want us to be happy (and talk about it as though it’s a flimsy, overrated and fleeting feeling) tell us that because they aren’t too happy and they don’t know how to be.

           

            So, yes, I believe God does want us to take His joy and be happy! And if that’s the conclusion, other questions naturally arise: If God does want us to be happy, what kind of happy does He mean? Self-indulgent happy? I just got a great new dress at a great price happy? Everything’s going my way happy?

           

            Or: Does being happy, or full or joy, mean an absence of frustration or grief? Can happiness and frustration co-exist?

           

           

            Before we answer those questions, let’s return to the fourth definition of lost being something hopeless or unattainable. I think it will become obvious during the next several posts that joy and happiness are not hopeless endeavors. They are not something unattainable. If we are believers in Jesus Christ, we already have them, they are ours to keep, ours to pursue, ours to grasp. They are ours to handle and care for as precious commodities that most of the world finds elusive.

           

            Ultimately, they are ours to share and to give.

            Perhaps I’m wrong, but I hope not (and I don’t think I am).

            Join me over the next couple of posts, and I’ll give you supporting answers that helped me arrive at my conclusion. And we’ll answer the questions I’ve asked here.

            Join the discussion. And if you think I’m way off base and just plain wrong, let me know why you feel that way!

So, until next week,

Thanks for joining me!

Blessings,

Andrea

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/93963757@N05/8551937456">Closeup portrait of a group of business people laughing</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

Restoring Your Joy

            Joy. What goes through your mind when you read that word? Did you nod your head and smile with the thought of the overflowing joy you have in your heart and life? Or did you shake your head and say to yourself, I wish had some of that!

           

            Joy. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as a “feeling of great happiness.” Not just your usual happiness, mind you, but “great” happiness. And they define happy as “feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc.; or showing or causing feelings of pleasure and enjoyment.” It’s something we seem to long for and often find evasive. If we find it, we want to hang onto it, which evidently isn’t easy to do. Even King David cried out to God to restore to him the joy of his salvation. The kind of joy that makes you breathless and giddy. The kind of joy that prompted my cousin to say, “Even the air smells different!” at the moment she surrendered to God and He penetrated her heart.

           

            But, eventually, life, your circumstances or others can suck the joy right out of you. Or is it you letting those circumstances and people steal it from you? Certainly heart-crushing grief can deplete and smother it. That’s understandable. But a lot of us, especially in the developed Western world—where we really do have life too easy and often have too much time on our hands and waste time sitting around comparing ourselves to others, wishing we had what they had, and convincing ourselves that no one has ever had it as bad as we do and that nobody understands our pain, etc.—find joy elusive, even though we’ve had it before and know how to get it back.  (How’s that for a run-on sentence of complaints?)

           

            But it’s not necessarily just joy recovery that I want to address today, although that is a by-product of following through on the advice another writer gives in a post I’ll be providing a link to.

           

            What I want to address today is the effect our joyless lives, attitudes and demeanors have on our family and friends, or even those we just happen to come into contact with on a daily basis. They can become the collateral damage of your joyless attitude.

           

            I have a friend who is angry about life. I can tell this person is angry and joyless just from the attitude they have toward everyone—family members, and even strangers. And that attitude threatens to suck the joy out of everyone who comes in contact with them.

           

            In this post I’ve linked to, you’ll read about how one woman’s lack of joy affected her children. Sadly, I can relate. I remember the time my older son (who was probably ten at the time) bounced happily out to the kitchen one morning to bless me with a cheery good morning and a beatific smile. He had always been a smiley, “Wow-it’s-a-new-day-and-isn’t-life-great” kind of kid, even from birth, and that morning was no different.

           

            And how did I respond? I greeted him with some ridiculously harsh, snappy comment like “Did you make your bed yet?” I can only imagine the look on my face when I spat out the question. And I can still hear and see his response. His smile withered in a split second, and was replaced by a pained expression. His shoulders slumped, and I can still hear the words he mumbled as he turned and started back toward his bedroom: “Why did I even get out of bed this morning!?”

           

            That vision of my son still breaks my heart. I was suffering from frustration and joylessness in my life at that time, and I took it out on him. And, I’m sure, nearly everyone around me, which certainly didn’t do anything to help my joyless life become more joyful. It just made everyone want to avoid me. It would take gratitude, a lot of prayer and a change of attitude to correct it.

           

            And it still takes a change of attitude—and behavior—because I still struggle with moments of joyless living. But, after years of experience, there are two things I do when joylessness strikes: First, I look to the heavens and say, “Oh, Lord, restore unto me the joy of my salvation. And then I smile in gratitude, because I know He’s faithful, and He’ll answer that prayer.

           

            Because a joyful life is part of His plan for his children. And in His presence, there is a fullness of it!

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2015/10/what-to-look-for-when-youve-lost-your-joy/

Next week: Does God want you to be happy?

You bet He does!

Until next week,

Thanks for joining me!

Blessings,

Andrea

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/42246573@N00/8620156555">Eggs in bowties</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">(license)</a>

After Grief: Learning How to Thrive

There comes a time in the grieving process that you need to start looking up and moving forward. And not only do you move forward, you can thrive. God doesn’t just want you surviving. (If that’s what’s happening, I think you may be giving too much power to something else in your life.)

           

            Here’s 3 tips for not just living well, but thriving.

1. The first, and most important place to start in your quest to thrive is to have Christ as your Lord and Savior, to order and guide your life, to give you a hope and purpose. You have been fearfully and wonderfully made. God wants to give you a hope and future. In order for that future to transpire, you need to know what His plans are for you. He’s the one who plants hope and dreams in everyone’s life.

2. Second, live your life intentionally, with a purpose. Resist being double-minded or floating back and forth like kelp in the tidal flow. When society goes one way, human kelp scurry that direction and allow themselves to be pushed that direction by the mob. And when the tide changes direction, they float that new direction. Living life based on your emotions makes for a shallow ride. Think deeply, reason well, and live intentionally.

3. Third, live a balanced life. Spiritually. Emotionally. Physically. Spend time with God, meditating on Him and His word. Promote peace in your heart and avoid negative people. Put away the complaining. Have a positive, and realistic, view and attitude toward life. Exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep.

            Time spent with God will fill you with the spiritual wisdom, discernment, strength, power and courage to confront life and give you victory over your circumstances. It will transcend and permeate everything you do, and the way you view the world.

            Exercise keeps your body and brain functioning well to live and enjoy life. Sleep helps heal your body and re-energize your brain. Poor food choices can kill you, quickly or slowly. It can cause both acute and permanent disease and illness

            When our dream dies, we can’t let our hearts stop dreaming. We weren’t born just to survive. God wants us to thrive anyplace He plants us, in any situation.

In a nutshell, it’s about roots. Your roots. Into what soil have you sunk yours? Near life-giving water or in dry, barren landscape? Are they constantly digging deeper and being fed and nourished, or are they shallow, spindly and weak?

            Check the fruit you’re producing in your life to arrive at some of the answer. Healthy roots produce plump, juicy, sweet fruit that people like to partake of. Do you need some pruning to produce more? Do you need a season of rest, to gather energy for the next round of production? Do you need grafting to something, someone, stronger who can help you bear more fruit?

            Today’s post can be summed up in a couple of Scripture passages. The first one is found in Psalm 1: 1: 1-3

Blessed is the man

Who walks not in the counsel of the

            ungodly,

Nor stands in the path of sinners,

Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;

But his delight is in the

            LORD.

And in His law he mediates day

            and night.

He shall be like a tree

   Planted by the rivers of water,

   That brings forth its fruit in its season,

   Whose leaf also shall not whither;

And whatever he does shall prosper.

            The second comes from John 15:1-5:

“I (Jesus) am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit He takes away” and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word, which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”

            Take heart. You can, and will thrive after grief!

            Need some extra encouragement? Listen to and read the words of this song. And don’t be afraid to thrive!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ71RWJhS_M

            Then come back and let us know how you’re thriving!

Until next week,

Thanks for joining me!

Blessings,

Andrea

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/24785917@N03/2429897127">Above Leura Falls, Katoomba</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://www.flickr.com/commons/usage/">(license)</a>