I KNOW. STRANGE TITLE. But how would you answer the question—How is your tongue doing? I mean in the way of speaking and communicating. If someone were eavesdropping on your conversation with your spouse or kids, what things would she automatically learn about you and your character and your relationship with your family, specifically your spouse? How are you getting noticed?
While I didn’t intend to do another post on marriage this month, this article from FamilyLife was so good I had to share it with you. It’s short and to the point, and it leaves you with a lot to think about when it comes to your personal relationships.
But before I give you the link, I want to tell you a little story.
Several months ago my husband and I were enjoying a meal with acquaintances. We laughed and talked for hours. Our conversation spanned a variety of topics, and both the husband and wife shared their lives. However, the wife did most of the “sharing,” including non-stop correcting of her husband’s recollections and story versions. And she wasn’t subtle about it, either. After a while, it got exhausting just to listen to and watch. Her husband’s body language told me he was getting uncomfortable, frustrated, and weary. Maybe even a little embarrassed. I could tell, even though she’s a wonderful, caring person, that she’s more than a little controlling, and unaware of her stressful communication “style.”
After the event, though, the engineer said something about it. And he usually doesn’t make a point of saying things like this unless he’s really bothered by something. He pointed out how, even though the wife was “nice” in the way she said things, her words showed little respect for her husband. While her body language displayed gentleness, her constant corrections did not. My son even made a point of commenting about it, and he hadn’t even heard the entire conversation.
I have a close family member who used to communicate like that to her husband, before he passed away. For years. It finally got to a point that this husband shut down, kept his mouth shut and avoided activities with her—and by default the rest of us—that he would have otherwise enjoyed. It was sad for all of us because we had such difficulty enjoying our time together.
Here’s the post:
The bottom line is: Your marriage is sacred. Demonstrate for doubting strangers just how great a great marriage can be!
Until next week.
May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).