After Grief: Learning How to Thrive

There comes a time in the grieving process that you need to start looking up and moving forward. And not only do you move forward, you can thrive. God doesn’t just want you surviving. (If that’s what’s happening, I think you may be giving too much power to something else in your life.)

           

            Here’s 3 tips for not just living well, but thriving.

1. The first, and most important place to start in your quest to thrive is to have Christ as your Lord and Savior, to order and guide your life, to give you a hope and purpose. You have been fearfully and wonderfully made. God wants to give you a hope and future. In order for that future to transpire, you need to know what His plans are for you. He’s the one who plants hope and dreams in everyone’s life.

2. Second, live your life intentionally, with a purpose. Resist being double-minded or floating back and forth like kelp in the tidal flow. When society goes one way, human kelp scurry that direction and allow themselves to be pushed that direction by the mob. And when the tide changes direction, they float that new direction. Living life based on your emotions makes for a shallow ride. Think deeply, reason well, and live intentionally.

3. Third, live a balanced life. Spiritually. Emotionally. Physically. Spend time with God, meditating on Him and His word. Promote peace in your heart and avoid negative people. Put away the complaining. Have a positive, and realistic, view and attitude toward life. Exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep.

            Time spent with God will fill you with the spiritual wisdom, discernment, strength, power and courage to confront life and give you victory over your circumstances. It will transcend and permeate everything you do, and the way you view the world.

            Exercise keeps your body and brain functioning well to live and enjoy life. Sleep helps heal your body and re-energize your brain. Poor food choices can kill you, quickly or slowly. It can cause both acute and permanent disease and illness

            When our dream dies, we can’t let our hearts stop dreaming. We weren’t born just to survive. God wants us to thrive anyplace He plants us, in any situation.

In a nutshell, it’s about roots. Your roots. Into what soil have you sunk yours? Near life-giving water or in dry, barren landscape? Are they constantly digging deeper and being fed and nourished, or are they shallow, spindly and weak?

            Check the fruit you’re producing in your life to arrive at some of the answer. Healthy roots produce plump, juicy, sweet fruit that people like to partake of. Do you need some pruning to produce more? Do you need a season of rest, to gather energy for the next round of production? Do you need grafting to something, someone, stronger who can help you bear more fruit?

            Today’s post can be summed up in a couple of Scripture passages. The first one is found in Psalm 1: 1: 1-3

Blessed is the man

Who walks not in the counsel of the

            ungodly,

Nor stands in the path of sinners,

Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;

But his delight is in the

            LORD.

And in His law he mediates day

            and night.

He shall be like a tree

   Planted by the rivers of water,

   That brings forth its fruit in its season,

   Whose leaf also shall not whither;

And whatever he does shall prosper.

            The second comes from John 15:1-5:

“I (Jesus) am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit He takes away” and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word, which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”

            Take heart. You can, and will thrive after grief!

            Need some extra encouragement? Listen to and read the words of this song. And don’t be afraid to thrive!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ71RWJhS_M

            Then come back and let us know how you’re thriving!

Until next week,

Thanks for joining me!

Blessings,

Andrea

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/24785917@N03/2429897127">Above Leura Falls, Katoomba</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://www.flickr.com/commons/usage/">(license)</a>

Fear and Grief: Finding Light in a Windowless Room

          

            Have you ever sat or worked in a windowless room with no natural light flooding into it? A room with nothing but vertical walls and some cheap thrift store paintings hung on them. You know, watercolor prints of wild mustangs running through the desert, a waterfall cascading down verdant rocks into a reflective pool. Waves crashing on the shore of some nondescript, island beach.

           

            I guess the mustangs are supposed to make us feel light and free, helping to carry away the burdens sucking the life out of our hearts. Or the waterfall is meant to help us feel cool, refreshed and cleansed; the beach and waves carry away our worries as we daydream through our pain.

           

            Right. Those pictures sure worked wonders for me in my darkest hours. Did they work for you?

           

            What we all needed is some life-giving light. Light that shines in spite of the windowless room. Light that illuminates our darkened hearts. Light that illuminates any room we enter, in spite of what’s going on in our worlds.

           

            This post I’ve provided a link for is a poignant look at how one woman, confronted by fear and change, found life-giving light in a dark event. Simple to do? No. Effective? Yes!

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2015/09/when-youre-desperate-to-find-the-light-when-there-are-no-windows/?utm_source=email+marketing+Mailigen&utm_campaign=daily-newsletter&utm_medium=email

Until next week, (when we’ll talk a little about thriving),

Thanks for joining me!

Blessings,

Andrea

PS Happy fall!!!!

5 Things We Can Learn From Grief

When disaster, loss or severe illness strikes, the first thing our grieving hearts usually ask is “Why?” Why is this happening to me? Why did this happen to my loved one? Why did this happen now? While we may never receive an answer from that nagging question, (or a satisfying one, at least), there are things we can learn from those disasters and the grief that often accompanies them.

~ Life is hard. Really hard. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like it’s worth living. Sometimes all we seem to be able to do is cope. A friend of mine divulged her innermost feelings after learning she had a brain aneurysm in a dangerous place in her brain and had to undergo risky, new surgery to correct it. (Which, by the way, involved removing her right eye without damaging the optic nerve, clamping the artery behind it in her brain, and reinserting the eye.) “If I didn’t believe in God, love Him, trust Him, and know that He was in control, I’d commit suicide. What’s the point of living this hell if there is no point? I’d end it.” In a nutshell, God was the only thing that kept her going. And she survived to spread the word about His greatness during the ordeal.

~ We have less control over our lives than we thought. In fact, we have very little control. On any given day we could awaken to disaster. Yesterday we were vibrant and full of health. (Or at least we thought we were.) Today we get a call from our doctor telling us we have Stage 4, inoperable cancer. We visit our doctor, who looks at us with a pained expression and says, “You have six months. I would suggest you get your affairs in order.” Or we get a visit from a policeman and the police department’s resident grief psychologist, telling us there’s been an accident…and your mind goes number after they tell you your daughter’s not coming home. Ever.

Realizing you lack control can at first be unnerving. But it can also be liberating, knowing there is Someone in control, and He knows exactly what’s going on. We suddenly understand that our life is really not our own, and that’s not so bad. When we’re allowing Him to order our lives, His way of having us live gives us more freedom to relax and enjoy the years we—and our loved ones— have been given. It is a simple faith that allows Someone else to worry about the big picture instead of us stressing over it.

~ We learn to be thankful. Thankful for what we have. Thankful for what we had. Thankful for what we had that we didn’t realize we had. (That, unfortunately, may initially add to our sorrow, because we no longer have it, though.) If we do not allow our hearts to become bitter, we can have hearts overflowing with love and thanksgiving. We usually love better and more deeply and have more compassion for our fellow man.

Recently, after teaching at a writers group, one of the members said to me, “I hope I don’t embarrass you by telling you this, but it’s so much fun to watch your eyes when you’re talking. They sparkle, they’re so expressive and bright.” I told her that her comment wasn’t embarrassing, and that I very much appreciated it. Then I added, “Actually, I appreciate it more than you can imagine. When we took family pictures seven months after our daughter Victoria died, I looked at those pictures and noticed how flat and pained my eyes looked. They looked dead. And I wondered if there would ever be any life in them again. So, thank you, you have no idea how much that comment means to me.” 

I am thankful.

~ We learn that pain, loss and grief sometimes make us better, stronger people. Our faith deepens, our love for God magnifies, and, in turn, He magnifies Himself in our lives.

Time after time I talk to people who have suffered immeasurable pain, loss and suffering, and most of them say the same thing: “I was so close to God during that time, it was wonderful. And I am so much closer to Him now.” One man stood up and boldly told a group I attended about the horrendous head pain he experienced following his brain tumor surgery and recovery. Then he added, “I was never so close to the Lord as I was then.” Tears streamed down his cheeks as he added, “I wish I could go back there.”

Several in our group nodded, with recognition and agreement flickering in our eyes. We were a little like-minded fraternity of grateful sufferers.

~ Finally, we often learn that there is evil in the world, and there are evil forces that want to destroy us emotionally, physically and spiritually.  Your pain, suffering and grief may be collateral damage of the war raging between the spiritual forces in the heavens and on Earth. Don’t ever forget we are living on a battle ground.

Undoubtedly, you can think of more things learned through suffering, pain, grief and loneliness. What can you add to this list?

Next week: Finding light in dark, windowless rooms; or another way to look at the darkness of fear and grief.

Until next week,

Thanks for joining me!

Blessings,

Andrea

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15390598@N08/4840832633">Roadside</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>