KEEPING OUR MOUTHS SHUT and listening—really listening—is one of the hardest things in the world for us to do.
We want to express ourselves; we desperately want people “to understand where
we’re coming from.” We want others to honor our rights, know how smart and
clever we are and how much wisdom we possess. How right we are and how wrong they
are. But being able to stop speaking, from trying to give our opinion and
vindicate ourselves, is one of the most important qualities we can possess and
put to good use. It’s about peace, and holding it.
As I’ve
mentioned before, there are several definitions for the word “peace” in
Scripture. The one we’re covering today has to do with holding our tongues,
keeping silent, to cease talking. And while we’re zippering our lips, we’re to
be giving a full, listening ear to what others are saying.
One place
we find this is in “The Book of Job,” chapter 33, verses 31-33. Hopefully you
already know the story of how Satan slinks into Heaven to stand before God and
accuse God of playing favorite with Job. He tells God that if He’d only let him
(Satan) have his way with Job, then Job wouldn’t remain the faithful follower
God is snookered into thinking he is. God says okay, you can do just about
anything to Job, but you can’t kill him. And Satan does. He kills all of Job’s
kids, destroys his livestock, and then he inflicts Job with a horrible disease
that causes so much pain and discomfort that Job heads down to the city dump to
grab broken pottery pieces to scratch his itching, oozing skin. It’s a horrible
picture. But it didn’t have quite the effect Satan thought it would. All of
that suffering doesn’t change Job’s mind about God.
What it
does do is draw some well-meaning but clueless friends to sit with Job in his
misery. That would be good, if they’d just left it there—at just sitting. You
know, just being present as moral support. But no, they all have to give Job
their opinions about why he’s in this predicament, and the more they talk, the
more depressed Job seems to become. But what Job doesn’t do is admit he’s done
anything wrong to contribute to his emotional pain and physical torture. In
fact, Job thinks he’s a pretty good guy. (Don’t we all.) Job’s right, though;
he is a pretty good guy who didn’t deserve this suffering. But he’s certainly
not sinless. And he doesn’t have any idea what transpired in Heaven to bring
this all about.
LISTEN
TO ME!
Then
another friend named Elihu shows up and tries to enlighten Job about God’s
ways. He’s better than the others in his assessments, even though he does get a
few things wrong.
In verses
31-33, Elihu says:
“Give ear,
Job, listen to me;
Hold your peace, and I will speak.
If you have
anything to say,
answer
me;
Speak, for
I desire to justify you,
If not,
listen to me:
Hold your peace, and I will teach
you
wisdom.” (Italics mine. NKJV version.)
Twice Elihu
asks Job to keep his lips sealed and listen to what is being said. He asks him
to refrain from trying to rebut or justify every comment, to stop the mental
process of even thinking ahead on what kind of snappy comment can be made.
Because when your brain’s busy doing that, it’s not listening!
I love how The Message says it:
“So,
please, Job, hear me out,
honor me by
listening to me.
What I’m
about to say
has been
carefully thought out.
I have no
ulterior motives in this;
I’m
speaking honestly from my heart,
The Spirit
of God made me what I am,
the
breath of God Almighty gave me life!”
BEGGING
TO BE HEARD
Haven’t you
ever said that, or wanted to say that to someone you’re trying to get your
feelings across to? “Please hear me out. Honor
me by listening to me.”
But we
don’t often do that, do we? Show someone honor by listening to them. By really hearing their heart. We’re too
busy wanting them to hear ours. But listening extends freedom to the other
person, a freedom you would like to have for yourself.
Elihu
points out earlier in chapter 33 that God may speak in a way that man has a
problem understanding. And because of that disconnect, we often don’t perceive
what God is saying. And consequently, we argue, ignore, distrust, and let our
faith fracture. How do we combat that? By keeping our ears open and our spirits
tuned into His voice.
And it
works when we’re communicating with others, too.
REVEALING
LANGUAGE
A long time
ago I changed my language when talking about having a conversation with
someone. Instead of saying, “I was speaking to John,” I changed it to: “I was speaking with John.” It helps me remember
that when I’m having a conversation, that if I’m speaking to A person, what I’m
really doing is talking at them, not
listening to them and having a two-way conversation. Speaking with them reminds me that the
conversation is a healthy give-and-take interaction. At least I hope it is,
since I do strive to be at peace with all men, as much as it is possible for me
to be. That fact is that some people are like perpetual tornadoes. They enjoy a
good fight and aren’t interested in peace, at least not the kind everyone can
enjoy.
GOD
MAKES HIS POINT
In Job
chapter 38, God finally makes His presence known, and He isn’t happy about
Job’s self-righteous attitude or the stupid things Job’s friends have shared.
He accuses Job’s friends of giving counsel (horrible counsel, at that) without
having the knowledge to back it up. Then He gets tough with Job when He says:
“Now
prepare yourself like a man;
I will
question you, and you shall answer Me.”
I think at
that point I would have dropped dead from fear, or covered myself in a pile of
those busted up pots. But Job doesn’t. But for four chapters God chastises Job
with rhetorical questions, pointing out that He’s God and Job’s not. (Remember:
My kingdom, My rules.) By the end of it, you realize the ludicrousness of
defending yourself against Him or demanding answers from Him.
It takes
Job just six verses to admit his shame and display a repentant heart. (He
doesn’t ramble on and on; he gets to the point. More of us should follow his
example.) And that’s all it takes. Immediately God sets about to restoring Job,
and He starts first with his big mouth, know-it-all friends. (The three who
couldn’t keep their mouths shut. Elihu wasn’t chastened.) He has them spend
some bucks gathering animals to sacrifice to Job in order to ask Job’s
forgiveness. Job’s health is restored, and he gets a second chance at enjoying
a family. In fact, life is better after his suffering than it was before. (Ever
experienced that?)
So what can
we learn from Job's story about holding our peace?
1. First, we might never know why we suffer. Can
we still enjoy peace with not knowing, not having all of the answers? (God
never explained Satan’s role in all of this to Job.)
2. Second, opening our mouths may keep us from enjoying
knowledge and wisdom we need, or that would help us to have peace.
3. Third, opening our mouths may end up hurting the
other person more than helping them. Saying something stupid is not covered
over by saying, “I’m just being honest, here.”
4. Fourth, keeping our mouths shut may help us hear
someone better, and understand. And understanding may grant us peace.
5. Fifth, opening our mouths at the wrong time may bring more turmoil—for us,
and the person we’re addressing.
6. Sixth, keeping our mouths shut—even though we want
to say something or even correct someone else—may cost more than it’s worth.
How have you managed to enjoy peace by keeping your mouth
shut and listening?
Enjoy your week, and keep this prayer close to your heart:
“Set a guard over my mouth, LORD,
keep watch over the doors of my lips” (Psalm 141:3; NIV).
Let Him have control over what you say, and expect to be
filled with peace and freedom!
Until next week.
Blessings,
Andrea
May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul
prospers (3 John 2).
