Monday, October 16, 2017

Want Peace? Stop Talking, and Listen More




           
            KEEPING OUR MOUTHS SHUT and listening—really listening—is one of the hardest things in the world for us to do. We want to express ourselves; we desperately want people “to understand where we’re coming from.” We want others to honor our rights, know how smart and clever we are and how much wisdom we possess. How right we are and how wrong they are. But being able to stop speaking, from trying to give our opinion and vindicate ourselves, is one of the most important qualities we can possess and put to good use. It’s about peace, and holding it.



           
            As I’ve mentioned before, there are several definitions for the word “peace” in Scripture. The one we’re covering today has to do with holding our tongues, keeping silent, to cease talking. And while we’re zippering our lips, we’re to be giving a full, listening ear to what others are saying.

            One place we find this is in “The Book of Job,” chapter 33, verses 31-33. Hopefully you already know the story of how Satan slinks into Heaven to stand before God and accuse God of playing favorite with Job. He tells God that if He’d only let him (Satan) have his way with Job, then Job wouldn’t remain the faithful follower God is snookered into thinking he is. God says okay, you can do just about anything to Job, but you can’t kill him. And Satan does. He kills all of Job’s kids, destroys his livestock, and then he inflicts Job with a horrible disease that causes so much pain and discomfort that Job heads down to the city dump to grab broken pottery pieces to scratch his itching, oozing skin. It’s a horrible picture. But it didn’t have quite the effect Satan thought it would. All of that suffering doesn’t change Job’s mind about God.
           
            What it does do is draw some well-meaning but clueless friends to sit with Job in his misery. That would be good, if they’d just left it there—at just sitting. You know, just being present as moral support. But no, they all have to give Job their opinions about why he’s in this predicament, and the more they talk, the more depressed Job seems to become. But what Job doesn’t do is admit he’s done anything wrong to contribute to his emotional pain and physical torture. In fact, Job thinks he’s a pretty good guy. (Don’t we all.) Job’s right, though; he is a pretty good guy who didn’t deserve this suffering. But he’s certainly not sinless. And he doesn’t have any idea what transpired in Heaven to bring this all about.


LISTEN TO ME!     
           
            Then another friend named Elihu shows up and tries to enlighten Job about God’s ways. He’s better than the others in his assessments, even though he does get a few things wrong.
           
            In verses 31-33, Elihu says:
           
            “Give ear, Job, listen to me;
            Hold your peace, and I will speak.
            If you have anything to say,
                        answer me;
            Speak, for I desire to justify you,
            If not, listen to me:
            Hold your peace, and I will teach
                        you wisdom.” (Italics mine. NKJV version.)

           
            Twice Elihu asks Job to keep his lips sealed and listen to what is being said. He asks him to refrain from trying to rebut or justify every comment, to stop the mental process of even thinking ahead on what kind of snappy comment can be made. Because when your brain’s busy doing that, it’s not listening!

           
            I love how The Message says it:
            “So, please, Job, hear me out,
            honor me by listening to me.
            What I’m about to say
            has been carefully thought out.
            I have no ulterior motives in this;
                        I’m speaking honestly from my heart,
            The Spirit of God made me what I am,
                        the breath of God Almighty gave me life!”


BEGGING TO BE HEARD
             
            Haven’t you ever said that, or wanted to say that to someone you’re trying to get your feelings across to? “Please hear me out. Honor me by listening to me.”
           
            But we don’t often do that, do we? Show someone honor by listening to them. By really hearing their heart. We’re too busy wanting them to hear ours. But listening extends freedom to the other person, a freedom you would like to have for yourself.

            Elihu points out earlier in chapter 33 that God may speak in a way that man has a problem understanding. And because of that disconnect, we often don’t perceive what God is saying. And consequently, we argue, ignore, distrust, and let our faith fracture. How do we combat that? By keeping our ears open and our spirits tuned into His voice.
            And it works when we’re communicating with others, too.


REVEALING LANGUAGE
           
            A long time ago I changed my language when talking about having a conversation with someone. Instead of saying, “I was speaking to John,” I changed it to: “I was speaking with John.” It helps me remember that when I’m having a conversation, that if I’m speaking to A person, what I’m really doing is talking at them, not listening to them and having a two-way conversation. Speaking with them reminds me that the conversation is a healthy give-and-take interaction. At least I hope it is, since I do strive to be at peace with all men, as much as it is possible for me to be. That fact is that some people are like perpetual tornadoes. They enjoy a good fight and aren’t interested in peace, at least not the kind everyone can enjoy.


GOD MAKES HIS POINT
           
            In Job chapter 38, God finally makes His presence known, and He isn’t happy about Job’s self-righteous attitude or the stupid things Job’s friends have shared. He accuses Job’s friends of giving counsel (horrible counsel, at that) without having the knowledge to back it up. Then He gets tough with Job when He says:
           
            “Now prepare yourself like a man;
            I will question you, and you shall answer Me.”

           
            I think at that point I would have dropped dead from fear, or covered myself in a pile of those busted up pots. But Job doesn’t. But for four chapters God chastises Job with rhetorical questions, pointing out that He’s God and Job’s not. (Remember: My kingdom, My rules.) By the end of it, you realize the ludicrousness of defending yourself against Him or demanding answers from Him.
           
            It takes Job just six verses to admit his shame and display a repentant heart. (He doesn’t ramble on and on; he gets to the point. More of us should follow his example.) And that’s all it takes. Immediately God sets about to restoring Job, and He starts first with his big mouth, know-it-all friends. (The three who couldn’t keep their mouths shut. Elihu wasn’t chastened.) He has them spend some bucks gathering animals to sacrifice to Job in order to ask Job’s forgiveness. Job’s health is restored, and he gets a second chance at enjoying a family. In fact, life is better after his suffering than it was before. (Ever experienced that?)




So what can we learn from Job's story about holding our peace?
            
            
1. First, we might never know why we suffer. Can we still enjoy peace with not knowing, not having all of the answers? (God never explained Satan’s role in all of this to Job.)
           
2. Second, opening our mouths may keep us from enjoying knowledge and wisdom we need, or that would help us to have peace.
           
3. Third, opening our mouths may end up hurting the other person more than helping them. Saying something stupid is not covered over by saying, “I’m just being honest, here.”
           
4. Fourth, keeping our mouths shut may help us hear someone better, and understand. And understanding may grant us peace.
           
5. Fifth, opening our mouths at the wrong time may bring more turmoil—for us, and the person we’re addressing.
           
6. Sixth, keeping our mouths shut—even though we want to say something or even correct someone else—may cost more than it’s worth.


How have you managed to enjoy peace by keeping your mouth shut and listening?


Enjoy your week, and keep this prayer close to your heart:

“Set a guard over my mouth, LORD,
keep watch over the doors of my lips” (Psalm 141:3; NIV).


Let Him have control over what you say, and expect to be filled with peace and freedom!


Until next week.

Blessings,
           
Andrea
May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).

Photos courtesy of Google Images           

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