“Repent, for the kingdom of
heaven is at hand!” (Matthew 3:2)
“If we confess we have no
sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins,
He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His
word is not in us.” 1 John 1:8-10
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(Continuing from the last blog…)
So there I am, face down on my
bedroom carpet, and I know I must immediately do something. And it's one of the hardest
things for people to do.
Confess.
I needed to admit my sins—more to
myself than to God. It was time to stop glossing over and denying them and ask
God to display them to me, so I could repent, of all of them.
After that ugly, soul-baring,
tear-filled event, one other step needed to be taken.
It was time to take God's hand in
faith and allow Him to lead me out of the darkness. I needed to take His hand,
so even when I stumbled I’d no longer fall.
No longer a child or adolescent with
an adolescent theology, it was time to put away childish things and recommit my
life—and all I had—to Him. It was time to stop being content with hanging onto
salvation scraps and take faith one more step: To climb onto the altar to
wholly present myself as a living sacrifice to God. No scrambling backwards; no
apprehensively testing the heat with a big toe; no waiting for someone else to
go ahead of me; no standing at the threshold with knocking knees, my heart
poised to turn and run.
It was way past time for me to grow
up!
But it would require more than plain
head knowledge to do so. I already possessed that, confessing and believing
that Jesus Christ was the world’s and my Savior. I believed it, but I didn’t
fully comprehend what it implied. I believed Him to be the sole source of my
salvation, but I’d previously been unwilling to make a full commitment by
bending my knee (actually my heart, soul and life) to Him.
I often prayed for a deeper faith, begged for it, but my faith was erratic
because of my ignorance of God’s
faithfulness. His promises, His track record. All of it, from the beginning.
Where would I find that information, that proof?
Right there within the pages of my
Bible.
I always held the erroneous
impression that I’d possess more faith if I did something, performed some
monumental act that would get God's attention. (Everyone is like that. We
either have teeny, shriveled, accolade-craving egos; or our egos are so inflated
we think we’re actually capable of doing something that will get God’s
attention, really impress the socks off of Him.)
Surely faith would rush in like a
firestorm, a jubilant announcement proclaiming me worthy of endowment of
unlimited, earth quaking faith. A reward for my personal sacrifices and heroic
efforts. Surely, as a chain reaction to my good deeds, God would counter with a
monumental, miraculous act on my behalf. I’d know because then life would be
simple; life would be burden-free, doubt-free and carefree.
Yes, I believed in Christ, but I hadn’t fully trusted in Him, hadn’t fully given
myself to Him, hadn’t rested in
Him. “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you
rest,” Jesus said. That was me: heavy laden, and needing rest.
I needed to sink my weight—my life—into
that rest, without reservation or hesitation, like I do when I confidently sit
on a chair I expect to hold me up. (How often do you inspect the legs of a
chair before you sit in it?) I needed to sink in and allow Him to support and
carry me, fully and completely, in His
power, not my own.
The time had arrived to take the
next step.
More than just profess Him as my
Savior, I needed to allow Him to actively be
my Savior. That meant relinquishing my life’s control reins and handing those reins
over to Him. I needed to step down from the throne I’d attempted to make myself
comfortable in, and allow Christ to sit in His rightful place as Lord over my
life. All of my life, not just what I
might be willing—on any given day—to turn over to Him.
That next step would be more of a
process…
_____________________________________
I want you to
read this line again:
Surely then, as a chain reaction to my
good deeds, God would counter with a monumental, miraculous act on my behalf.
Actually, He
already did that, two thousand years ago.
Not for my good
deeds, but because He loves me.
And he did it
for you, because He loves you.
Many of you,
like me, have lost children or grandchildren, or know someone who has.
Would you
willingly, deliberately—like God—send your only
Son to an unspeakably cruel beating and death on a rough Roman cross as a
sacrifice for someone else’s sins, just so that person would know how much you
loved them?
That’s what God
did for you, so He could permanently write your name on His hand and never let
you go. If you were the only person
on Earth, He still would have sent His Son to that death, just to spend eternity with you.
Are you ready to
sink your weight into Him today? If not, ask Him to reveal Himself to you; pray
for the faith you need to do it.
He’ll faithfully
respond.
Precious
Lord, take my hand
Lead me
on,
Let me
stand
I'm tired,
I am weak I am worn
Through
the storm, through the night
Lead me on
to the light
Take my
hand precious Lord, lead me home
~Rev. Thomas A Dorsey
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NEXT WEEK: The final step: Experiencing the
process and slowly ascending from the grief and despondency that had overtaken
my life…
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Thanks for
joining me.
Until next week!
Blessings,
Andrea
(After years of trying
unsuccessfully to correct and live with the negative effects of the damage and
trauma done to my womb in my last two pregnancies, as well as a procedure in 2008 that has worsened my condition, I’ve finally decided to have
it removed next Monday, October 14. So, while many of you are reading my post,
I’ll be reclining comfortably, in controlled sleep, on an operating room table.
It will be a melancholy day. Please pray for a successful surgery and speedy recovery! Thank you!)
PS I’m writing ahead, so posts will continue every Monday, on
schedule! J
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