WELL,
IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR again. The time when the engineer and I pack our
bags and get out of town, head some place else besides our own backyard. Without kids. Why do we make the effort
(and, truly sometimes it is a big effort given our schedules) to get away
together like that?
Because it’s crucial to the
sustenance of our marriage. Because it’s critical to going beyond having just a
good marriage to enjoying a great one.
And why do we do it this time of
year? Because it’s our anniversary time (yesterday was the big 34) and it’s
important for us to re-affirm our commitment to one another. Before starting
this yearly ritual, our married life was more difficult, more frustrating and
exhausting.
So, once again, I have marriage on
my mind. We’ve already been gone more than a week, and we’ve spent some time
with our older son and daughter-in-law in the city they’re now calling home,
before vacating to another location to enjoy one another. And to take a serious
look at how successful we were at this marriage thing in the last year, look
forward to the next one, (we’ve learned the hard way that assuming that our goal
is automatically going to be our spouse’s goal is a recipe for disaster), and
discuss how we can do even better at loving and respecting one another. We know
we need time away, in a location conducive to really hearing one another’s
heart.
UNHURRIED, HONEST, AND DEEP TIME TOGETHER
We want and crave unhurried, deep
conversations. Honest ones. And this first article I’ve linked for you will
discuss one of the most critical marriage activities that so often gets
forgotten or ignored. In Rob Flood’s post you’ll:
1. Learn why
married couples NEED to get away
together. (Or is busyness ruling and dictating your married and individual
lives?)
2. Lean how you
can be encouraged to get away and how you can encourage your spouse in this
endeavor.
3. Get great ideas
for what you can talk about and what you should discuss during your getaway.
Spend some time being introspective
and then make sure you have some fun! Go sightseeing. Simply enjoy one
another’s company. Sleep in and—yes—take advantage of uninterrupted intimacy
time. Honestly, sometimes intimacy is the only thing on our agenda when we get
away. If we can, we do tuck in other activities around it. But we usually forgo
schedules that demand being some place at a particular time and rushing around
to get there. Why would we want to do that on our getaway when that’s what
dictates our life at home? We’re away to recharge and refresh and revel in one
another and what God has done in our marriage all of these years, particularly
the last one. It’s what has gotten us
successfully to year number 34!!
JUST GETTING STARTED?
And if you’re just at the beginning
of your marriage, or, better yet, considering marriage, you’ll want to check
out this next post: “8 Decisions That Will Define Your Marriage” by Mary May
Larmoyeux. They are critical questions to ask and flesh out before the “I do’s”
are uttered, or you may find your marriage on the rocks and both of you in
marriage counseling in short order.
They can set the foundation and direction
for your married life and help avoid some of the problem points that can arise
in any marriage. Don’t go down the aisle with stars in your eyes. Go down the
aisle wisely prepared, and like-minded.
PASSING IT ON
When I told my older son where we
were going to celebrate our anniversary after spending time with him and our
daughter-in-law, and that we wouldn’t be inviting them to join us, he laughed
and said, “You wouldn’t want us there anyway!” Then it was my turn to laugh and
say, “You’re right about that.”
I was so happy because I knew my
27-year-old got it.
And I think he got it from watching
his mom and dad nurture their marriage and one another all of these years. At least I think he got it from us, because one
year he even gave us an anniversary card saying all he learned about love he
learned from watching us love. And he appreciated it.
And that was the best anniversary
present a husband and wife could ever receive from their child.
What are you
teaching your kids about marriage that they’ll put to good use in theirs?
Until next week.
Blessings,
Andrea
May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul
prospers (3 John 2).
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